Job ad of the day

From Craigslist: "Gov't Contractor Needs Strong Writers Immediately (Reston, VA) . . . Qualified applicants will have 0-6 years of experience."

Zero years of experience represents "qualified." It's a race to the bottom.

After one week of temp work

What stands out more than anything is just how much I hate PCs and Windows. Everything is easier to do on a Mac. Plus, I've gone from my 21.5" screen at home to a screen of about 15".

Am I still legal?

To work in the United States, that is. I'm starting a temp assignment tomorrow through one of the agencies that I use. Because I haven't done any work for them in six months (no thanks to them), I have to stop into their office to show them -- again -- two forms of ID to prove that I can work legally in this country.

Like my Social Security card or birth certificate has changed! I am not happy about this.

The Internet data miners know that I job hunt

This was in my spam folder:

Typical

Can you say "age discrimination":

All qualified applicants will receive consideration for employment without regard to race, color, religion, sex or national origin.

So if I were transsexual Hindu Inuit born in Belarus my chances would be much better than mine are.

Oh, c'mon

Why don't they just say they're looking to hire Superman or Wonder Woman.

More craziness from another job ad

"Overseeing the acquisition, ingesting, cataloging and archiving of digital media assets."

Feed me!

CHECK OUT THIS AD COPY!!!

Remember the Seinfeld episode where Elaine broke up with a guy because he didn't use exclamation points and then Mr. Lippman told her to remove all of the exclamation points she inserted into a manuscript written by that ex boyfriend? Mr. Lippman would not like this copy (including the bolding and capitalization) from a job ad I just saw:

PROFICIENT WRITER NEEDED!!

Must have own transportation to Work!!

IF YOU HAVE A PASSION FOR WRITING, THIS IS THE JOB FOR YOU!!!!

Please reply to this AD and attach you Resume!!

To a prospective employer

F**k you for doing this as part of the application process! This is part of an application for a freelance resume-writing gig. Guess who didn't apply.

More is better

"Finalists will be asked to complete an editing assignment at home and several timed copyediting tests during the interview process."

For a position in Arlington that I won't be applying for.

We are not machines

Imagination shows a distinct lack of imagination in titling their post on Media Bistro.

Wall Street Journal, colorblind edition

Stick out your can, here comes the garbage man.

And f**k employers who do this, too

"Failure to complete all of the required fields may result in your application being disqualified from consideration. The information entered in the education and work experience sections are auto screened by the system based on the basic qualifications of the position."

The life and death of a coffee mug

Publications Professionals is one of the agencies I'm registered with.

After I passed their three-hour test, they got me a temp job in 2002 at K12 Inc. that turned into a permanent job. Shortly after I started that temp assignment, PP's prez stopped by to say hello and give me this coffee mug.

Since I quit the K12 job in 2007, PP has not given me a single assignment, despite my numerous requests.

I am going to figure out a most pleasing way to smash the coffee mug to smithereens.

By the way, could they have done a worse job with the selection of the "PP" fonts!

Fauly copy editing

Article title on Autoblog.com:

"BMW issues stop sale on M5 and M6 models over fauly oil pump."

The wording!

In an ad for an editorial manager:

"Candidates should be versatile in various disease states."

F**k you!

That's what I have to say to any prospective employer who does this:

"Resumes without specified salary requirements will not be considered."

Or this, along with a rejection:

"We would like to keep your information in our database for future consideration."

And especially this in the rejection:

"We have found another candidate whom we feel is the best fit for this position." 

Eastwooded

Job interview tactic