Push

Maybe I ought to rethink my aversion to a FT office job

"My biggest accomplishment at the office today." (from Reddit.com)

Lost in Translation

Enlgish/Japanese Translation Project (Washington, D.C.)

To-do list

Get a haircut and trim my beard for a job interview on Tuesday.


Those are two, among countless reasons why I prefer virtual work.

What is beyond "profound ambivalence"?

Whatever it is, I've got it regarding going back into an office job.

On the one hand, I now have complete control over my schedule/daily routine. On the other, if I were to get one of the FT jobs I applied for, I'd have to commute in rush-hour traffic almost two hours a day to toil in a office among a group of people which no doubt would contain some I don't want anything to do with; not to mention all the other BS that comes with a regular job.

The last time I worked in an office was September '09. It is almost unimaginable to see myself ending my two and half years of freedom.

Notwithstanding the need for income, my Little Man Inside is screaming, "Have I taught you nothing!"

On writing

From legendary sports writer Red Smith: "Writing is easy. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein."

This suggests an item that should be included in the Welcome Kit for many of the hack writers hired by Demand Media, among other companies.

I can relate

Every time I have a Nutella snack, I have to control myself to not let this happen. One of the world's great foods.

In addition to not having self-control, the poster also has issues with commas!

Seriously, this is under "Writing/Editing" on DC Craigslist

Wanted: Trophy Wife. . .

I am looking to fill an immediate opening in my home, as soon as possible. The position will be demanding, but the perks of the job will absolutely outweigh the stresses of the day. Any applicants must be willing to perform a few simple day to day tasks. . .

First is to wake up every day in my arms. And even after we wake to lay there and enjoy that feeling of love and happiness. Before the kids bust through the doors, before the stress of the day even has a chance to make an appearance. . . just lay. After I am able to tear myself from your arms, you have an option: either enjoy a fine cup of loose leaf tea in bed, or by the fireplace. After. . . you make it through the tea, we get the kids ready for school, as a team. Pack lunches and snacks, get them dressed, breakfast as a family, and then off to catch the bus. At this point, I'll be off for the day for another day at the office. . . but I will never rush off without holding you in my arms as if it were the last time. . . and just when I am about to let go, hold you for a little longer.

At this point in the day, you have some flexibility. . . you could spend some time catching up on the book you are trying to finish. Or head straight to the gym, in the brand new company car (our your choosing of course). This may include, but is certainly not limited to, any number of Zumba/Yoga/Crossfit/etc classes desired. All membership fees and workout clothes will be included as part of your compensation package. After the gym, please make full use of the whirlpool tub to relax. Or, if you don't feel like the gym that day, head straight to the mall for some shopping or a pedicure or to get you hair done. . . all on the company credit card.

I hope your work environment will be suitable, as you will have your own corner office, with which you can fully focus on your writing career. Whether you are tinkering with a new concept, or putting the finishing touches on another masterpiece, this will be an ideal space with which to focus.

In the afternoon, you will have to pickup my son from preschool and perform an extremely important task. Have fun. Play in the playroom, take him to the park, play on the swing set, watch a movie with him. . . But be sure to save some of that energy for when my daughter gets off the bus. . .. And then the fun just continues. . . until I return home from the office. At this point I expect to be fully bombarded by my kids. . . dual hug style, knocking me to the floor, hands still full from just coming in the door. Once I regain my composure though, please be ready, because 8 hours of not being able to be by your side will be unbearable and my only thought in that moment will be to kiss you like it was our first and last kiss.

We'll take turns cooking dinner. . . and often will prepare the meal together. We'll eat as a family and listen to each other tell the stories of their days. After dinner, we'll spend time with the kids together. Playing board games, doing homework, practicing instruments, singing songs, doing artwork, reading stories, going for bike rides. . .. After getting the kids off to bed, please be prepared to receive a massage by the fireplace, while the stresses and noises of the day go quiet.

Other perks, in no particular order: surprise picnics, weekend getaways, nights out for movies/dinners/concerts/etc, my singing you songs and leaving you notes, unbounded support for you writing career, boots. . . lots and and lots of boots. . . A true partner, in every sense of the word. . . in life, parenthood, friendship, and love. Finally, it will be my job to create a life with you. . . completely and utterly consumed by both passion and love.

---------------

A fellow editor's reaction: "2 composition score for excessive use of ellipsis along with batshit craziness."

All-knowing

EditorLive, which appears to be an online term-paper mill, is looking for editors.

Part of the application process involves a 30-minute test which includes questions related to your knowledge of "Chicago, APA, AP, MLA, CSE, and other style manuals."

I have nearly 30 years of editing experience and have worked with maybe half of those styles. I bailed after 10 minutes.

Job hunting is a bitch

What else is left to say! First I got the following email yesterday, called her, and then we set up a phone interview for today with the hiring manager. (I applied for this job a few days ago.)


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: xxxx
Date: Thu, Apr 12, 2012 at 1:08 PM
Subject: Head Start Editor (Website) Position
To: "budk11@gmail.com"

Bud-

We are currently hiring for the position of a Website Editor.Your resume indicates that you might be a good fit. I have attached a brief description below. If this is a position that interests you, please call me.
• Bachelor’s degree in English or Communications from an accredited U.S. college or university
• 10 years of experience with writing, editing and/or communications
• 4 years of experience with editing website content
• Proficiency with Microsoft Word, Excel, Outlook and PowerPoint
• Excellent editing, writing, organizational, follow-up and oral communication skills
• Highly-motivated, detail-oriented, quick learner with a professional demeanor
• Business/ technical writing education is a plus
• Head Start-related experience is a plus

I look forward to hearing from you.

Then I got this:

Bud-

Unfortunately, I have to cancel your phone interview with Wendy. The new job requirements given to us now require Head Start experience. I truly apologize and we will keep your resume as we have other upcoming projects that may better suit your experience.

A "contact" job for a contact sport?

World Wrestling Entertainment is seeking an Editor-in-Chief.

Among the required skills is: "Knowledge of the structure and contact of the English language including the meaning and spelling of words, rules of composition, and grammar."

Huh?

For all intents and purposes

This is my new professional name:

I have a good feeling about this one

I just applied for a FT editor position that has the following as a requirement: "The employee is frequently required to talk or hear."

At the risk of jinxing myself, I'll say that I think my ship is about to come in.

Diminishing Returns

I just applied for a FT editor position that requires 2-3 years of experience. I've got almost 30 years under my belt.

There is no longer any way that I can "dumb down my resume" to a point where it will get me in the door for an interview for most jobs.

The chances of my getting this job are nil.

Crust

This is what I think about an agency that got me one week of work in four months: