I hope editing is like riding a bike

You know, you never forget how. I haven't done any editing since 5/30, the last Demand Media article I did (of the six I did for them this year).

I can't believe that my Demand "Work Desk" online is even accessible, not that there's ever anything there. I never get any of the team emails, nor have I ever received one of those "come back to work for us" emails. Weird company.

I just checked the first and last Demand articles I did. There's a kind of poetry/symmetry/full circle about it:

5/13/09: How to Report an Employee Not Keeping Their Office Clean (yea, I let the title errors slide)

5/30/12: How to Can Meat Spaghetti Sauce (see above!)

On writing

From legendary sports writer Red Smith: "Writing is easy. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein."

This suggests an item that should be included in the Welcome Kit for many of the hack writers hired by Demand Media, among other companies.

Breaking bread . . . and perhaps limbs

I've concluded that far too many writers who select articles about building dining room, kitchen, and other tables must not own any tables, and perhaps have never actually seen one. For example, on more than one occasion I've seen the direction to attach the legs but without any mention that they should be at or close to the corners, or at least placed in a way that stabilizes the table.

Tit for tat

Writer note: "Please see ref#1 before changing multi-station, because it’s important that we maintain our technical accuracy/legitimacy."

My note to writer: "AP style, which we use, trumps how a reference treats 'multistation'; hence the changes that I made."

RTFM if you want to "maintain our technical accuracy/legitimacy."

"How to Slice an Orange"

I just copy edited an article with that title. I had to bring all 28 years of my editing experience to bear on that challenge.

Featured: Bad Intro

"The iPhone 4 is a popular, fully-featured smartphone that features a number of features..."

Negativity

This is what Demand copy editors refer to as a TFPT (10-foot-pole title): "How to Not Sync an App Without Deleting It"

Your guess is as good as mine.

Titles for dummies

"How to Open Schlage A-Series Locks": At the risk of sounding like I have an idiot bias, who doesn't know that you insert the key and turn it. That pretty much was the content of the article.

One for the ages

A fellow Demand copy editor sent an article back to the writer for a rewrite. The writer then bitched on a Demand forum about not understanding what the copy editor wanted.

The copy editor posted her reaction on a Facebook group that some 120+ of us have formed:

"Hmmm...unless by 'not sure' he meant that he has no idea what I was saying, which since I was saying that I had no idea what he was saying, would be ironic."

My article copy editing day begins

First up is a "How-to" article: Under "Things You'll Need" are "Potectuive gloves" and "Googles."

ETA: Excedrin.

Sneaking in?

This photo is my LOL of the day. It's the image used in an article titled "Fixing a Squeaky Stair." The question is, Why does she not want to make a sound?

Neither left nor right

Thanks to one of the few writers who acknowledges that not everyone is right-handed: "Hold the trigger end of the drill in your dominant hand and place your other hand under the front of the drill."

Pulling no punches

One of my fellow article copy editors included the following note in a rewrite request to a wordy writer:

"If you're going to use that many words, make sure each one has a job to do."

Bravo.

Where gun opponents fear to tread

I just copy edited an article titled, "The Best Way to Clean a Muzzleloader Shotgun."

Couldn't wait to finish it.

R.I.P.?

When a writer's bio reads like an obit: "After learning electronics in the U.S. Navy in the 1980s, xxx spent a lifetime in the construction industry..."

Maybe it just felt that way.

Sleepediting

You know that horrifying experience of driving in the middle of the night, suddenly waking up after you've fallen asleep for a second or two, and then realizing that you might have just driven through a red traffic light you can see in your rear-view mirror.

In that vein, I just woke up to the sight of the approval screen of an article on how to change the combination on a Master Lock. I need to reread it; I have no recollection of editing it.

Shiver me timbers

First article edited today: "How to Make Your Own Sword Cleaning Kit."

I picked it in honor of Edit Like a Pirate Day.

In a nutshell

One of my fellow copy editors for Demand Media pretty much captures what it's like to edit bad writing:

"Today, I wish my job were to tell writers what's right about their articles, instead of what's wrong. Then I could just say 'Nothing,' and move on."

From TitleBot mania to Storyville

Wherein I transform the work of article title writers into a summary of a short short story.

These (actual) titles were in my queue today at the same time (all "Thanks but No Thanks" titles, not selected): How to Put a Hole in a Rock, How to Live Without a Lawnmower, Places to Buy a Single Red Rose, How Can I Make a Family Tree Look Like a Tree?

A poor, tortured loner with an aversion to lawn care escapes into his secret world in a boulder, where he soon meets his maker. His sister, the lone survivor of the family and known for her inability to even draw a stick figure, sets a solitary rose in a vase on her desk as she begins the task of putting to paper a diagram of the family's lineage.

DIY projects rule

"Building your own barbecue can give you the look of a professionally made grill without the expense."

I'm there; I always wanted to look like a pro grill.