Thursday, December 31, 2009

2009's Least Helpful Help

It's a toss-up.

First up, there's Word Help. (How do you construct a macro? How do you convert straight quotation marks to curlies in existing text?)

And, of course, contending is the Chicago Manual of Style. There are so many times when (1) what I'm looking for is not in the index location that most reasonable people would expect it to be, and (2) CMS equivocates on rule after rule.

These tools of my trade need some serious sharpening.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Stop. Go directly to syntax jail. Do not pass go.

A title writer (for my online article editing job) apparently has reached his limit in terms of articles about investing.

To wit: "Rules for Stopping the Stock Market."

Or perhaps he just had his fill of holiday shopping.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Where Bad Writing Goes To Die

Here's how my online article editing job works in terms of article selection.

After I log in, I pull up my queue which contains ten titles ready for editing. I can select any one of the ten. Once I pick one, I can do one of three things with it: edit/approve/submit it, edit it and submit it to the writer for a rewrite (this generally seeks clarification), or save it back to the hold area of my queue. If I choose the latter, I have 24 hours to edit it.

If, however, I don't return to that article within 24 hours, it will go back into general circulation for another editor to select.

It is reasonable to conclude that many editors use this option to avoid working on articles that are so badly written, they can't bear the thought of spending an inordinate amount of time to salvage them. After all, we're paid per article, so working on articles of this nature cuts deeply into our hourly pay.

I exercised this option today with an article about online banking. The introduction contained these nuggets:

"Traditional banking and all it alludes is slowly becoming a thing of the past." And: "Online banking gives you access to self serving features."

That was more than enough for me to send the article post haste to the Death Pool. I would imagine that there are some articles out there that don't see the light of day for quite a while, as one editor after another throws them into the dark abyss.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Working at home, cont'd

Seasonal upside: I don't have to deal with that Secret Santa crap and devote precious brain power to decide what to buy for an a'hole co-worker.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

MY Three Sirens

I may have left FT employment, but my freelance editing requires at least as much time as I was putting in on my job prior to "retirement."

Today, for example, I spent five hours copy editing on my current book project, then many more hours editing sixteen online articles followed by seven mystery shopper reports (my latest freelance job).

Sometimes I think it would be better to simply crash into the rocks. This is a ridiculous way to spend my "golden years."

Call me Ishmael Odysseus.

Napalm by any other name

To paraphrase Robert Duvall's "Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore" in "Apocalypse Now": I love the smell of an egregious error in the morning. It smells like . . . stupidity.

I just edited an article on teaching kids about rivers. It contained this: "Advanced transportation such as airplanes has reduced our alliance on rivers."

Monday, December 21, 2009

She's not heavy. She's one of my writers.

I just edited an article for my online content job. It was written by an "experienced and published" writer (according to her bio). The article was on meteorological science projects for school kids.

In the 350-word article, she consistently misspelled lightning as lightening.

The company needs to lighten its load of these writing hacks. Either that, or hope for lightning to strike some of them.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

This is why I double-lock the door to my sixth-floor balcony.

Here's an excerpt from a short online article I'm copy editing:

"Succeed in area competitions and make you'll be on you way up the latter to compete at the highest rungs of the spelling bee circuit."

The article is entitled, "What Are the Benefits of Participating in a Spelling Bee?"

And it continued in that vein to the very end.

An Idea Whose Time Has Come

I just started editing a new manuscript. I was immediately faced with huge swaths of quoted material without references.

I think it's time that our profession organize in an attempt to stop this crap from reaching our desks, computers, mailboxes, whatever.

And I have the perfect name for our organization:

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Factoid

I was just listening to an interview on NPR during which the guest repeatedly said, "In point of fact."

Let me state for the record that, in actual fact, that expression quickly grew old.

As a matter of fact, I turned off the radio.

In fact, excessive verbiage, be it written or verbal, always should be avoided.

Illiterates need not apply.

A public health research and consulting firm in northern Virginia is seeking a senior editor.

One of the required qualifications is "fluency in written and oral English."

I wonder if the firm has less stringent requirements for editors below the senior level.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Commiserating

(A short conversation with two of my kindred spirits.)

ME (to V and J): "One's standards cannot possibly be maintained for two months!" In other words, and as you know, when we're working on a piece of crap for what feels like forever, we reach a point when we pretty much go into an auto mode just to get the damned thing done. At that point, many of the items on our "final checklist" somehow don't seem necessary any longer.

V: That’s because at that point they aren’t necessary!

ME: And that begs the question, debated ad nauseum by our brethren and sistren, How much of what we do is truly necessary?

J: Depends—if you ask the general stupido, s/he will say barely anything; just catch the typos. If you ask those who know (writers, for instance), they’ll say a lot, “as long as it isn’t my writing!”

Monday, November 23, 2009

Relativity

Ten days is an eternity when, for example, you're counting down to the start of a vacation or the delivery of a new car.

Ten days go by in a flash as you frantically deal with all that remains to complete the editing of a 400-page manuscript.

One look at what remains on your To Do list in relation to the calendar begs the question, "What have I been doing for the past three weeks?"

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

My Work Queue

When I log in to my online article-editing account, I have a list of ten article titles, each of which needs to be edited.

The titles cover a seemingly endless variety of topics, literally almost anything you can think of. For example, yesterday I edited articles on various aspects of computer use, investing in the stock market, foreign currency exchange, auto maintenance, and more.

Since we are paid on a per-article basis, no doubt each editor has figured out an approach to article selection that is designed to maximize hourly earnings.

Given that one of our responsibilities is fact checking, I would think that most editors lean toward subjects with which they're familiar, at least as far as a title can suggest, and away from the opposite, which might require more fact checking.

Many titles are questions, the answer to which presumably is provided in the article; for example, "How do I apply for Medicare?" So another "test" (i.e., criterion) that I use in selecting a title is to ask myself, How likely is it that the question can be adequately answered in the article?

Which brings me to My not-to-be-touched-with-a-10ft-pole title of the day for yesterday: "List of Jobs Requiring a Bachelor's Degree."

What do you think, about a gazillion jobs condensed into a few hundred words?

Monday, November 9, 2009

Rt. 1 South, Revisited

Many years ago I had a job with hours that ended in the middle of the night. The drive home, from Edison to Trenton, New Jersey, was about 20 miles. It was a straight shot down Rt. 1 South, with virtually no other vehicles.

I would occasionally doze off for a few seconds, and then awaken in a panic and feeling grateful to be alive. I often wondered if I had run a red light or narrowly missed a collision during my brief naps.

Editing can, at times, be like that drive home. To wit: I just edited (I hope) a number of articles, including the titles, "How To Remove Rust from Brakes," "How To Use Derivatives To Manage Foreign Exchange," and "NASDAQ Technical Analysis."

I had a good night's sleep, it's only about 10 a.m., and yet I find myself driving my '67 Triumph TR4A, top down, right into the arms of Morpheus.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Did you know that most editors have a strong death wish?

From an article I'm editing on paper vs. electronic medical records:

"Electronic records are more efficient than paper because it makes the files easier to read, more assessable and improves on the overall quality of the patience’s files for diagnosis research." Not to mention the subject-verb disagreement.

When I encountered that sentence, I saved the file, turned off my computer, and double-locked the door to my balcony. I live on the sixth floor of an apartment building.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Election Day 2009

My vote goes for healthcare.

C'mon, AP, New York Times, and others. Jump on the band wagon. You know that the demise of "health care" is imminent. Please give it a terminal nudge.

The fact that virtually no one uses a hyphen in health care reform is proof that "health care" is seen/read/understood as "healthcare."

Monday, November 2, 2009

This kind of writing grates on me.

From an article I'm editing on email newsletters:

"Email is a great way to communicate. Newsletters are a great way to let people know what is going on in the world, with your company and so on. Put them both together and a great many benefits arise out of them." (Emphasis added.)

I encounter a great many articles whose writers have neither a great vocabulary nor a great degree of original thought.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Phrase of the Day

From an article I just edited on neck exercises: ". . . spinning your head from one side to the other."

It's perfect for Halloween weekend, and it brings to mind "The Exorcist."

Good thing my stomach's empty, otherwise I might projectile . . .

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Editors are a lonely bunch.

The American Editors Association has released its 2009 "Annual Survey of Favorite Works of Art."

"In a word, alienation," is how AEA President Giuliana Manfredini characterized the survey results. Manfredini elaborated: "We have seen over the past few years, the survey trending slightly in this direction. But for a variety of reasons—some market and some economy driven—the dam seems to have broken last year, carrying our members to a very dark place insofar as their selections."

Here, then, are the top 10:

1. Edvard Munch’s "The Scream"

2. Pink Floyd’s "Another Brick in the Wall"

3. "The Prisoner"’s assertion, "I am not a number—I am a free man!"

4. The Beatles’ "Nowhere Man"

5. Edward Everett Hale’s The Man Without a Country

6. Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man

7. The Coen Brothers’ "The Man Who Wasn’t There"

8. Bob Seger’s "Feel Like a Number"

9. Thomas Harris’s The Silence of the Lambs

10. Robert Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land

The survey, to which nearly 80,000 editors responded, asked members to identify their top pick from the fields of literature, film, music, TV, or any other artistic medium of their choice.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Overheard at the Carets & Styx

A couple of days ago, I was at my favorite hangout, the devilishly fun café for editors, when I listened in on a conversation between two of my peers.

EDITOR 1: The writer I’m dealing with now is a real bitch. She’s insulting, patronizing, and never answers my queries.

EDITOR 2: You're preaching to the choir, honey. If we had a nickel, huh.

EDITOR 1: At the risk of sounding sexist, maybe she needs to get laid.

EDITOR 2: I need to get laid! But I digress. I'm making a note to myself on this. There has got to be a relationship between the sexual activity or inactivity of writers and how they relate to their editors.

EDITOR 1: Let's call Trish over at the Sosh Department to see if this has some research grant potential.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Best of the Week's Bios

The writers who pen the articles I edit for my online editing gig include a short bio at the end of their articles. Here are the gems from the past week:

Writing has been a means of refuge for [him] since he can remember. [He] opined, "It leads to self-realization which begets clarity which begets understanding that drives serviceability."

[He] continues to share his love for the Houston Rockets in his writing.

[He] wants to be the catalyst that propels amazing stories.

I loved a good granola long before I attended UC Berkeley.

This was a fairly wast assignment. I finished my business finance class a week ago. Make an recommendation you fell are necessary.

She possesses a Master's Degree in Education with a minor in English, as well as a Bachelor's Degree in Education as well.

I am a Behavior Analyst and proud owner of an English Bulldog, who inspires much of my writing.

My ability to type is 45+ wpm.

I hope to one day find a box of money.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Zen and the art of editor maintenance

I recently encountered a sentence in an article I was editing that stopped me in my editing tracks by its multi-dimensional profundity:

The best form of security for a computer file is for the file to have never existed on the computer.

Before I could move ahead, I needed to call up a couple of my friends to see if they could unlock the mystery of that text.

Drago Kovic is a philosophy professor at Georgetown whose most popular class is on the roots of existentialism. Florian Stocchi is a consultant to DoD on matters of cyber warfare. The following is the gist of what they had to say.

DRAGO: The phrase "never existed on the computer" implies that the file existed elsewhere. But if it's a "computer file," where can it exist other than on a computer?

FLORIAN: If the concern is the security of files on a computer, but this file existed somewhere off of the computer, then why would it need any security at all?

DRAGO: And if it doesn't need any security because it exists somewhere other than on the computer, in essence and for purposes of this analysis, it is nonexistent.

FLORIAN: I concur. In that case, there is no need to even consider its security.

As I expected, Drago and Florian pointed me in the only direction possible. I deleted the sentence from the article.

Sailing Solo

I received my final paycheck today from my former employer.

The U.S.S. Bud is now officially a rogue ship broken off from the mother fleet.

Coming about. Hard alee!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Diminishing Returns

I am convinced that my 26 years of editorial experience is working against me in terms of seeking another FT job, especially in today's declining job market.

As to required experience, job ads often indicate that the employer is looking for an editor with perhaps 8 to 10 years, tops.

Anything above that would, in most employers' view, put a very experienced editor way beyond the top of their salary range.

And as someone who has hired and managed editors, even I would admit that I'd probably hire an editor with 8, as opposed to 26 years of experience. If that candidate has been in the field that long and has advanced in her career, she'd fit the bill just fine.

We've heard of job hunters who "dumb down" their resumes by removing post-graduate degrees to eliminate the possibility that they will be viewed, for example, as too smart, over-qualified, and likely to be bored.

I suppose I could delete 10 years or so from my resume. But I value all of it, and it shows a long, accomplished career. I do not want to deny so much of my professional life.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

In the words of Colonel Kurtz, "The horror, the horror."

After close to two months, the worst project (a book on W's defense program) I've had for my nonfiction book editing job is complete.

Now the question is, What would be a fitting end for the hard copy?


I'm thinking of going to a local park that has BBQ grills, getting naked, and then dancing around the flames as they rise to appease the Goddess of Fire.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

An author in search of syntax, among other things

I just edited an article (for my online editing gig) written by someone who, according to his brief bio, "enjoyed a liberal arts education at Miami University."

Based on the barely acceptable quality of his writing, I'd hazard a guess that he indeed enjoyed his time at Miami. Whether he actually graduated is an open question.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Is it just me?

Or do you, too, find this headline somewhat judgmental?

From today's New York Times: "Pittsburgh Is Calm After Day of Raucous Protests"

I had to double-check the definition: disagreeably harsh or strident; boisterously disorderly

I guess TPTB would be happier if the protests were agreeably less harsh, boisterously orderly, agreeably orderly, agreeably strident, or didn't f***ing take place at all.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

This cloud has no silver lining.

Editing of the Bush book (see entry below) continues apace toward the deadline a week from today. Nothing further needs to be said about the horrific task of moving and renumbering the nearly 600 notes. This is one of those tasks that befalls all of us from time to time—the necessary-evil aspect of an otherwise tolerable project.

It is the rare occasion when we can figure a way out of or around these kinds of responsibilities.

I did just that when I lived in DC. I got sick and tired of spending hours in line, at the city-run inspection stations, waiting to get my cars and motorcycles inspected every year. So I paid a guy $40 each year to do it for me. (VA is a relative joy: car inspection at most gas stations.)

I wonder if Mr. Inspection does book notes. I'd hire him in a NY minute!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

HTML = Hell Toucheth My Life

I have about a week and half to finish editing a book on Bush II's defense program. It's been a tough project.

The manuscript is about 425 pages, by ten writers in addition to the book's editor. Most problematic for me is that, as is too often the case, the manuscript did not conform to submission requirements. For example, all graphics embedded in text need to be moved to separate file, and all footnotes need to converted to endnotes with the accompanying renumbering.

I thought I'd take an editing break today to do some HTML coding. But . . .

Prepping the MS
HTML time
Mind numbing horrific task
The editor's bane

Thursday, September 3, 2009

If paper shredders could speak

I received a gift from the gods on Monday. Given that there's absolutely no work going on in the proposal center, and my MoronManager wants me out of her hair ASAP, she told me I needn't come into the office through my scheduled final day, 9/11.

So Monday was my last day at the worst job I've ever had (extensively documented on this blog). The very last thing I did as I headed for the exit was surprisingly more satisfying than I had anticipated.

I took two of my friends and walked them over to the paper shredder. I gave one my 1/08 offer letter for this job and the other a letter informing me, earlier this year, that I was going to receive a bonus (insultingly puny) for all of my hard work. They proceeded in turn to feed one and then the other document to the shredder.


As the second document was nearly ingested, the shredder stopped. The paper had to be jiggled back and forth, the on-off switch was hit again, and the shredder finished its job.

I like to think that the shredder was choking on my personal as well as the collective negative energy of the staff.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Persona non grata (yet one more last time)

Ten days to go before I leave my hellish FT job, so perhaps there will be another similar entry. But for today, we have this little, telling story.

In the weekly staff meeting, my MoronManager announced that today is the last day for one of our proposal coordinators. LR came in as a temp-to-perm, has done a bang-up job, and is yet another competent professional driven out by, among other things, the gross incompetence of my IdiotManager.

I am leaving next week, but my MentallyChallengedManager said nary a word about my imminent departure.

Oh, how I'd love to be around when the first big proposal blows up in her face. A proposal center without a FT editor; makes perfect sense in her world, wherever that might be.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Sometimes one too is one too many.

I see this construction more than I'd like to:

Not only will you feel better, you'll also be helping others too.

also + too = adrenaline rush

Breathe in, breathe out . . .

Sunday, August 23, 2009

As easy as 1-2-3. Nope.

Back in 2003, after leaving a job under far from ideal circumstances, I wrote that among Bud's Life Rules are Three Keys to Job Survival:


One: Never disagree with your supervisor.
Two: Never question your supervisor.
Three: Never refuse your supervisor.

I had seen over several decades of working that those three rules came into play everywhere I had ever worked. To my mind, they are universal. And I have broken them on nearly every professional job I've had, including my current, and final, FT job.

So this begs the question, If I have learned these lessons why have I not applied them?

The answer is simple: Because I believe behavior based on values such as doing the right thing, fairness, and honesty—to name just a few—apply even and perhaps especially in the office.

Anyone who wants to live (read: dead souls walking) by the three keys must succumb to the three P’s that are the foundation of most offices: power, position, and politics.

Further, the dead souls must check at the door every single day any expectations they might have related to humanity, integrity, and other values that most of us strive for.

I may have failed to apply lessons learned, but I have never prostituted my value system for the sake of a paycheck.

Do I hear Old Blue Eyes singing "My Way"?

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Ten (among many more) things

September 11 is my final day as a FT, company-employed editor. I will not miss the following (in random order because I’m too lazy to sort in any meaningful order):

  • Supervised by a “manager” who personifies the Peter Principle
  • Told, “You decide [a style point], you’re the editor,” and then being overruled by illiterate proposal managers
  • Underappreciated, undervalued, and underpaid
  • Editing writing by people who don’t know the difference between, for example, its and it’s, their and there
  • Working with incompetent temp editors
  • Rarely, if ever, being thanked
  • Trying to educate people about the time required to do quality editing
  • Working with graphic designers and desktop publishers who never proof their own work
  • Working with managers and coordinators who won’t enforce version control, thereby giving writers access to files after my final edit
  • Writing and updating style guides no one adheres to, let alone reads
  • Tuesday, August 18, 2009

    This headline could send passiphobics into shock.

    "Positives are many to Texas Rangers acquiring Pudge Rodriguez" (from somewhere online)

    Le mot juste

    For security purposes, my company requires us to change our passwords every 45 days.

    Since I'm leaving 9/11, I just made my final change:

    colormegone

    Sunday, August 16, 2009

    Pretty young blue-eyed things with long blond hair and longer legs

    As you walk around the corridors of my company, you can't help but notice an abundance of these abundantly blessed nubiles.

    And they're rarely alone. They attract the dirty young and old men, and occasionally their female counterparts, like flypaper.

    We have two staff writers in the proposal center. They sit around with nothing to do most of the time.

    Despite that, our manager just hired another writer—the daughter of one of our proposal managers. She's a recent college grad with a journalism major. She has virtually no relevant work experience, but she is a pretty young blue-eyed thing with long blond hair and longer legs.

    Do blonds really have more fun? Perhaps. But one thing's for sure—at my company they seem to have plenty of career opportunities.

    9/21 Update: The favorite daughter (above) has, according to my manager's direction, been given some editing to do. She's helping out with the crush of work we have this week. She was not asked to speak with me first, nor has she. My money's on her being my replacement. This would save my manager from finding an editor, paying an agency for a temp to perm, etc., and, most importantly from actually needing to fully think out something.

    So the proposal center will go from having an editor with 26+ years of experience to one with none. It makes perfect sense in the Bizarro World of my manager and soon to be former employer.

    Wednesday, August 12, 2009

    Persona non grata (one last time)

    I turned in my resignation on Monday. My final day as the government proposal editor for the IT company will be 9/11. I picked that date for its obvious symbolism. It changed our lives forever. Leaving this god-awful job will do the same for me.

    When I told my manager, her only words were, "I was just getting used to the idea that you were going to be around for a while."

    I could not have hoped for a better, more representative, ending statement from this dolt whom I have endured since January '08.

    After twenty months, she finally realizes that I'm actually there. Well, not quite, because as she puts it, it's merely "the idea" that I'm there.

    Tuesday, August 11, 2009

    This does not bode well for the day.

    I just logged on to the website for my Web-based freelance gig to do some editing.

    Here's the opening sentence of the first article in my queue that I clicked on this morning (topic is where to buy a laptop):

    "Whether you buying that first laptop or getting one for your personal need’s."

    It continued in that vein for several hundred more words.

    Proof that anyone can call herself a writer, and often get paid as one.

    Saturday, August 8, 2009

    When we means me (and certainly not you)

    (Update to entry immediately below.)

    The most senior (and influential with executive management) proposal manager and I had a back-and-forth in which she essentially argued for the "grammatically correct but inconsistent appearing" approach and I repeated my recommendation.

    She wrote, in part, "I say we talk about it next week and make a decision that we can work with."

    For twenty months I have been told repeatedly, "You're the editor. You decide." Most of my style recommendations has been rejected for reasons that have nothing to do with style rules or logic. In total, those rejections have rendered completely meaningless, my role as the "gatekeeper of style."

    That resistance and unwillingness to grant me the authority that should go with my responsibility, flows almost completely from the inability of the proposal center manager to tell our stakeholders in no uncertain terms that the editor who has twenty-six years of experience will make decisions of this kind.

    Friday, August 7, 2009

    It's called a "bulleted" list for a reason.

    The reason being that, in far too many instances, when I encounter one I feel like putting a bullet in my head!

    Not unexpectedly, the bulleted list continues to rear its ugly head in the proposal center on a regular basis.

    So I finally reiterated what I recommended shortly after walking in the door at the beginning of last year. Here's my email to the entire proposal center and related management:

    "There has been some feedback this week about inconsistency regarding punctuation in bulleted lists. The inconsistency is due in part to two editors working on a proposal and, importantly, the absence of any hard-and-fast rule regarding this most difficult of style issues.

    "In all my years of editing, I have seen just one rule that works and is easy to remember: NO CLOSING PUNCTUATION FOR ANY AND ALL ITEMS ON THE LIST. That rule came about after many months of agonizing debate among a group of eight editors I worked with. Finally, we agreed on two things: (1) there is no right or wrong answer on this; rather, it is a question of personal preference; and (2) we needed a rule that all writers and editors could easily remember and apply.

    "This would apply to sentences and non-sentences alike, and items that are questions similarly end with no punctuation.

    "The first word of every item has an initial capital letter. Items do not end with a semi-colon; the penultimate item does not end with a semi-colon followed by "and".

    "So, my strong, unequivocal recommendation is NO CLOSING PUNCTUATION FOR ANY AND ALL ITEMS ON THE LIST.

    "Any other approach produces one of two results, both of which I consider unacceptable. First, if we end every item (even just one word) with a period, it looks consistent but is grammatically incorrect.

    "Second, if we are grammatically correct and only use periods for items on a list that are complete sentences, then it looks inconsistent.

    "That's my two cents, and I'm sticking with it!"

    Wednesday, August 5, 2009

    Feed me! Feed me!

    I read an article many years ago in which a psychiatrist wrote that the reason children steal from their parents (e.g., money from wallets/handbags, expensive cosmetics) is that they're not getting the love they need and want, and the object they steal is a surrogate for the missing love. That article came to mind the other day in the context of free lunch in the office.

    The proposal center has more "war rooms" (i.e., meeting rooms for proposal development teams) than we actually need, given the small number of proposals in the works at any given time. So folks from all parts of the company frequently use those rooms for meetings. And they usually ask our AA to order lunch for them. So there's often lots of good food in the office. This is why most of us are dieting!

    Since we're not getting the "love" (read: respect, management, leadership, bonuses/good raises, and truth) we need from our manager, we're "stealing" it. Like long-lost desert wanderers spotting an oasis, we rush to the kitchen as soon as the catered lunch arrives, stealing some of the food before the meeting folk get to it.

    This prompted our manager to fire off this missive:

    "If you are not a participant of the meeting being conducted, please do not take from the catering before checking with me first.  We have received several complaints that the food has been picked over before the attendees have had a chance to eat. Others can eat only AFTER ALL of the participants from the meeting have taken their food."

    My response to my coworkers reflects the group's sentiment:

    "I guess WE THE UNWASHED probably shouldn’t even COME OUT OF OUR CAVES AND POLLUTE THE AIR until the Lords and Ladies of the Manor are safely ensconced in the Castle Towers.

    "Humbly,

    "I remain Budrick, the unworthy and filthy servant of My Beneficent Lady of Fairfaxshire"

    Four Letters, Four Errors; or, Why I Hate Editing Govt. Proposals

    The proposal I edited yesterday responds to a Request for Proposal entitled, "[govt. agency] Status Determination Support, Et. Al"

    That title appears on the cover page, in a host of supporting documents, and in every single page header.

    I was told in no uncertain terms by both the proposal manager and the proposal center manager that I can't change Et. Al to et al. That would be "correcting" the government—a no-no.

    In addition, et al. is used incorrectly, as the proposal relates to providing support, among other things, not support and a bunch of people.

    It is incomprehensible that, during the entire (and undoubtedly very lengthy) process that ended with the release of the RFP, no one spotted these egregious errors.

    Tuesday, August 4, 2009

    The jury hands down its decision

    I was looking for an old classic New York Times article on copy editing (not found) when I came across this headline from 10/30/63:

    "COPY EDITOR FOUND GUILTY OF CONTEMPT"

    That would pretty much be the ruling if the "12 Angry Men" were writers who had to have their work edited.

    Friday, July 31, 2009

    Former House Ways & Means Committee staffer turned freelance writer?

    Sometimes within a sentence or two, I regret having clicked on a particular title in my article queue (for my online editing job). Usually that which starts badly only gets worse.

    To wit: The introduction to an article on roundtable conferences includes, "This process is a peaceful one, sometimes heated, yet it's a ways to a means."

    That phrase could only work as a response to the following question posed to a hitchhiker by a lost motorist: "Excuse me. Could you tell me how far it is to Ameenz?"

    Thursday, July 30, 2009

    "A bug on the windshield of life"

    You've heard it, you've said it, you've been there. And the reason the expression reads exactly that way is no doubt explained in an article (in my queue for my online editing gig) I simply can't bring myself to click on: "Reasons Why a Fly Doesn't Smack Against the Back Window of a Car."

    Call me a coward if you will. Say I have no sense of adventure, that I'm incurious. I fear if I were to edit this article, I would tell the author, in my rewrite request, to add a warning relating to what happens if you put your car in reverse and put the pedal to the metal.

    Tuesday, July 28, 2009

    1000+ is the new 500

    In my freelance editing of articles for posting to the Internet, I've been getting slammed in recent days by articles way over the suggested word count. These articles read like treatises.

    I return the articles to the writers and politely request a rewrite, and suggest that they review the appropriate style guide. What I feel like writing is RTFSG!

    Writers: can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

    Monday, July 27, 2009

    "All you've done is editing."

    I had a so-called mid-year review with my manager last week.

    Her assessment was peppered with language about being a team player, chipping in, stepping it up, and so forth. Not a word was uttered about my editing.

    Her view is that the editing workload in the proposal center is generally very light. She is one of the unenlightened who thinks editing takes no time or effort. Thus, she broached the subject of redefining my role.

    She said, "Looking at your resume, I see that all you've done is editing." The emphasis is hers.

    This trivializing and undervaluing editing is not uncommon. But I have never worked anywhere as an editor (since 1983) where this view was as prevalent as it is in my shop.

    It is very likely that the name of this blog will change in very short order.

    Monday, July 20, 2009

    The gatekeepers have misplaced the keys.

    One of editing's occupational challenges is to learn and apply any number of different style guides when moving from one employer to the next, depending on particular house style preferences. There's AP, GPO, and Chicago style guides, to name just a few.

    Being responsible for riding herd on style is a process of learning, unlearning, relearning, etc.

    Take that challenge and increase it by an order of magnitude, and you've got the nearly impossible juggling act that me and my fellow copy editors (for the freelance, online content editing I do) are responsible for.

    We currently have no less than sixteen sets of guidelines. These comprise: eleven categories of articles (how to, about, fact sheet, etc.); two blacklists (competitor websites never to be cited); and the house, image, and references guidelines. Plus, we must absorb and apply whatever information and/or feedback that our roughly 400 peers receive from our various team leaders or glean from looking at other forums on our website in addition to our own for copy editors.

    Many of our forum posts reflect the sheer frustration of trying to sort out an incredible amount of information.

    I'm hard pressed to recall any time since '83 (when I started my editing career) that so much effort has gone into so few words (the articles are from about 150 to 400 words). Much of that effort involves just preparing to edit.

    To borrow a phrase from William Wordsworth, "The style guides are too much with us."

    Sunday, July 19, 2009

    The Mother of All Mental Lapses

    I'm a very good job hunter. I've got the resume/cover letter/phone screening/interview drill well in hand, with the results to prove it.

    However, this past week I made a mistake for which I'll be beating myself up for a while.

    I'm in the process of putting in place a number of permanent part-time freelance positions that will enable me to move away from FT employment toward a semi-retirement supported by several income streams.

    One of my current freelance jobs (previously written about here) is for a West Coast media company that provides content to many websites. I edit short articles for the company.

    I found an identical position posted on craigslist for a Boston company looking for copy editors. I applied online. And then I realized that, indeed, I had taken leave of my senses when I composed the email cover letter.

    Among other things I wrote: "I am most interested in the copy editor position and am currently doing similar work for a company on the West Coast."

    Let's rewrite that, shall we, for a tip on how not to get a job: "I'm working for one of your competitors."

    Wishing you were here: You'd be more than welcome to act on the "Kick Me" sign on my butt.

    Stop. Now go.

    The author of the book I'm currently editing consistently does a bizarre thing with em dashes.

    She basically understands that one of the em's proper uses is to indicate an interruption or a sudden change of thought.

    However, her execution of the em's function is literally halfhearted. For example, she writes, "These differences—as in concepts of time--need to be understood to make social interactions easier."

    Why the double dash rather than the em to finish the interruption? All I can think of is that it's her way of first saying, "Stop and take note of this break," and then giving us the go-ahead to proceed to the rest of the sentence.

    I have a feeling that she's never run a red light.

    Friday, July 17, 2009

    More from the illiterate who evaluates me

    Email to the team:

    [Misspelled name] has declined the proposal coordinator position, but has agreed to stay on as a consultant until we find a replacement. Loni’s last day as a temp-associate is Friday, July 17, on Monday she will convert to a consultant, her email will most likely change to UCON after her name.

    Please let me know if you have any questions.


    As a matter of fact, I do have questions: (1) Do you realize you've strung three sentences together? (2) Can you define "sentence"? (3) What's with the commas in place of periods? (4) Why don't you have the decency and respect to spell staff names correctly? (5) How in the world do you keep your job?

    These gems just in, from the latest of her emails today: less then one year; They just need to make sence.

    Thursday, July 16, 2009

    The most thankless profession

    I've been doing freelance nonfiction book editing since April '08 and just started my twentieth book.

    Yesterday I received my first thank-you, from a co-author of the nineteenth book.

    One out of nineteen: It doesn't make it all worthwhile, but it helps a bit.

    I've been an editor since '83 and understand that this is a profession in which its practitioners are judged primarily by their mistakes, not by their contributions. I can live with that.

    Anyone who needs to be thanked for a job well done needn't apply.

    Monday, July 13, 2009

    comm·a·tose

    Pronunciation: ˈkah-mə-tōs
    Function: adjective
    Etymology: French comateux, from Greek kōmat-, kōma
    Date: 2009
    1 : characterized by lethargic inertness (The commatose editor reached a point where he didn't have the wherewithal to decide whether to insert or delete commas in the book he was editing.)

    And how, you might ask, did I come down with this affliction?

    First, the style at my FT job is to use the serial (aka Harvard or Oxford) comma.

    Second, one of freelance employer's style uses the serial, the other doesn't.

    Third, some style guides give it a thumbs up, others don't, and still others don't even have a thumb.

    Such a tiny little punctuation mark, yet so problematic.

    Wednesday, July 8, 2009

    This is the person who reviews my performance.

    I did a quick edit of a "white paper" my manager sent to me at 3:30—quick because it was 12 pages and I had to leave at 4 sharp.

    She still can't grasp the concept that editing takes time. I've talked up my varying "pages per hour" capability (depending on the level of effort required), but to no avail. This is as close to truly talking to a wall as I've ever been. Back to the point.

    The title of the article contained "Area Processing Center (APC)." Throughout the article there were singular (APC) and plural references (APCs).

    After I submitted the paper to her she asked me why, as the title contained "APC," I added "s" in many places. I actually had to explain that there is more than one APC.

    I call them Hackquisition Editors.

    The publishing company for which I do freelance book editing has, as do all publishers, acquisition editors. They're responsible for bringing in titles to be published.

    The AEs are supposed to reject (or return for additional work) manuscripts that do not meet the company's submission guidelines and requirements.

    Based on what I've seen in my year and a half with the company, it's clear that quotas trump quality. I've worked on some manuscripts whose authors could write the book on how not to write a book.

    The MTF

    Along with the manuscript, the editors receive from the AEs a "Manuscript Transmittal Form" which contains design and production details and, importantly, notes to the editor (e.g., level of effort required, things to look out for, author's history with the company).

    The MTF is supposed to be based on a thorough manuscript review by the AE. I have not seen one yet that accurately reflected the work actually required on a manuscript. What I have seen, however, are a few edits in a book's foreword or preface made by the AE to indicate that they've "reviewed" the manuscript.

    I just started to edit a book on the Middle East. In the preface, the AE inserted "Engyptian president Anwar El" before "Sadat."

    Engypt: Isn't that where the Great Sphincter is?

    Saturday, July 4, 2009

    Independence Day

    I'm back to doing some freelance editing for the online media company. The pay's not great, but it adds to my nest egg. And in these increasingly tough times . . .

    In the past 24 hours, I've encountered two self-plagiarizing writers; one double dipped, the other triple dipped. Each simply cut and pasted identical content into an article with a different but similar title.

    Self-plagiarism is, of course, a cardinal sin and specifically discussed in several of the company's style guides.

    Nevertheless, these two writers have taken the spirit of the Fourth to heart, perverted it, and declared independence from company and professional rules. The editorial team will quash their little rebellions.

    Sunday, June 28, 2009

    Mediaocracy on the home front

    Mediaocracy is variously defined, but generally means "the system of maintaining control over a nation by utilizing the media."

    For me, that definition has been turned on its head. You see, media—storage media in particular—have taken control of my personal digital and computing world.

    Editors, and others who create, manipulate, and store documents, rely on effective systems of document version control and content management systems (CMS). And so it is, or should be, with the hundreds of personal files consisting of my own writing as well as freelance editing work.

    An effective CMS would, in effect, allow me to see the forest for the trees. Unfortunately, what once was a clear view of the forest has been obscured to the extreme by the trees that have taken root and cluttered up my file world.

    Two factors have contributed to the chaos that now exists across my files: (1) the importance of backing up files, and (2) the advances in storage media, including hardware, software, and online storage. Well, actually, make that three factors, the third being an interest in exploring and testing out the preceding #2.

    So, where exactly are my files, and their copies? Various files exist in the Documents folders on two computers (my PowerBook G4 and iMac G5), on two external hard drives (USB and Firewire), on four USB flash drives (ranging from 128MB to 8GB), online (at Google documents, Soonr and DropBox), within two software applications on my computers (Scrivener and Journler), and most recently on my iPhone (the Documents To Go app).

    It's been said that folks who lived through the Great Depression developed a "Depression mentality" that governed their conservative and guarded approach to personal finance for the rest of their lives. A parallel exists for those of us who have lost valuable files and data stored on our computers.

    But having said that, one might conclude from reading this, that there's a fine line between backing up files and OCD. One would not be far from the truth. HELP!

    Saturday, June 27, 2009

    "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds . . ."

    If Ralph Waldo Emerson had been around when I was hiring editors, he'd have been my guy; he got it.

    I'm editing a book on professional hockey—seventeen chapters filled with countless references to the NHL and other professional and semi-pro hockey leagues.

    I dare say there will not be a single reader who doesn't know what any of the league acronyms stands for.

    So I have to remove my full-time job hat—the one that compels me to enforce the acronym rule (spell out first time in each section of a proposal)—and follow common sense. After all, to do otherwise would be detected out there in the space-time continuum and disturb Emerson.

    Something's Gotta Give

    The Time-Cost-Scope paradigm is simple and goes something like this:

    In considering any kind of output (e.g., goods and services), there is an ideal equilibrium or balance among the inputs T, C, and S that results in the most efficient and effective way to achieve the desired output. If you alter any one of the three inputs, this changes the "weight" of the other two and creates an imbalance or disequilibrium.


    For example, let's say it takes me one hour to do an in-depth edit of five pages of material for which I charge $35. If I rush through the material and complete my edit in a half hour, the quality suffers.

    And this is exactly what happened with my online editing, freelance job. The rate of pay is $3.50 per article. So the only way I could make a reasonable per-hour wage was to race through articles, thus impacting the quality. This approach quickly becomes apparent to the copy chiefs, who scrupulously review and critique the work of the copy editors.

    We occasionally need to consider how much our time is worth. It's hard to argue with the position that $7 an hour is better than zero. But is that hourly wage something that a self-respecting professional would accept?

    As a friend and fellow editor put it, "Those folks are running a sweat shop!" I concurred, thanked my team leader for the opportunity, and told her that I was giving up the position.

    Thursday, June 25, 2009

    Ivan's Scammer Syntax Software (version 3.2.1)

    I recently decided to play along for a while (via email) with "Marina," a "Russian" scammer.

    She had chosen me from the Internets, would soon leave her little village, travel to St. Petersburg, and finally join me here in the States.

    One of her many increasingly intimate, revealing, and romantic emails included the following poem:

    My voice for you both tender and languid
    Disturbs later silence of night dark.
    Near bed sad the candle burns mine;
    My verses merge murmuring, flow, rivers love,
    Flow are full you.
    In darkness your eyes shine before with me,
    To me smile, and sounds are heard by me:
    My friend, my gentle friend. I Like .. Yours Yours!

    In pinetions long hopeless,
    In alarms of noisy vanity,
    The voice gentle sounded to me long
    Also lovely fig dreamed.
    And heart beat in ecstasy,
    And for it have revived again
    And a deity, and inspiration,
    Both life, and happiness, and love


    The more I read this poem, the more I am convinced these scammers use a software program that is designed to convert good English writing into what you see above—a hodgepodge of grammar and syntax errors from the perspective of a variety of other languages. It's Word's grammar and spell check turned inside out. Brilliant.

    Back to Marina. As the English poet Philip James Bailey (1816–1905) wrote, "Poets are all who love, who feel great truths, And tell them; and the truth of truths is love."

    You gotta love a scammer who's a romantic. In my case, it was up to the point when Marina asked for my full name and phone number. No doubt an airfare request was forthcoming.

    Here's Marina's between two of her friends; and don't they look Russian!


    Final note: I did some research on the Russian-wife scam game and quickly discovered "Marina" identified on two alert sites under two different names and hometowns.

    Tuesday, June 23, 2009

    The Illiterati are taking over my office.

    The Rookie (see entry immediately below) continues her relentless pursuit of endearing herself to anyone above her in the hierarchy. Here's another one of her needless (by any normal business standard) updates to the proposal center manager:

    "Bud was able to download the Acrowizard successfully and will have 30 days to work with it and see if it is helpful and/or a tool he would most likely use.

    "I will touch basis with you and Bud a few days before our trial period is over to see if it is something worth purchasing. Thanks!"

    First, the "and/or": Using this construction doesn't make you appear to be a good writer. It's lazy writing and, in this case, it's not even correct. "Helpful and a tool" works, even though it's redundant. "Helpful or a tool" is a nonsensical pairing.

    Second, "I will touch basis with you" . . . no comment needed.

    Third, "Thanks!": Who here needs to be thanked, and emphatically to boot?

    The concept of need-to-know is not part of her functional vocabulary.

    We have a new temp-to-perm proposal coordinator who makes the Energizer Bunny seem catatonic. She flits around the office continuously, trying to make a good impression in more ways than I care to write about. Suffice to say she's overbearing, overreaching, and overly enthusiastic.

    And she provides way too much information, most of it unnecessary. For example, I generally edit proposals after the third internal review, by the Gold Team. Their review is preceded first by the Pink Team, then by the Red Team.

    The Rookie just came to me with another of her needless updates, this time to inform me that the Pink Team review date has been changed. Her update included the obvious fact that this change doesn't affect me.

    One can only hope that she will burn out and get out of our collective hair.

    Monday, June 22, 2009

    Redundant and repetitive

    From Amazon.com's review of the new Spinal Tap CD/DVD:

    "Back From The Dead" is destined to be a collector's item, especially among collectors.

    Saturday, June 20, 2009

    The Insolent Incumbent

    I edited a Request for Information (RFI) yesterday for a federal contract for which my company is the incumbent. It's a multi-year contract, and the RFI is a formality; simply some mid-contract documentation to support the continuation of our work with the government client.

    The resume section was a mess—several entirely blank "Summary of Experience" sections and numerous entries that I queried.

    When the proposal coordinator released the edited files to the project manager for review, he told her that he didn't have time to look at the files. She told him the files had extensive edits visible with the "Track Changes" function on, and that there were queries that required his attention. He repeated that he wasn't going to review my work, and that it really didn't matter as we're the incumbent contractor.

    This begs the question, Why even bother to send projects like this through Editing and Desktop Publishing?

    The it's/its confusion has me in a snit!

    The results are in, and this week's most-often corrected word is it's incorrectly used in place of its.

    Coming in second was there/their, with the ever-popular assure/ensure just a hair behind in third.

    The multiple offenses were in a proposal for Office of Management and Budget IT support. I'm starting to think that the geek writers whose work I review hacked their grade records for English and skipped those classes.

    Friday, June 19, 2009

    Subject-verb Manager-editor disagreement

    The proposal center manager continues her unabated assault on the English language:

    "Please let GVA know when the documents has been complete."

    It's a miracle I don't get migraines.

    Monday, June 15, 2009

    Maruchan Instant Lunch Editor's Reflex

    CAUTION: HOT! HANDLE WITH CARE ESPECIALLY WHEN SERVING CHILDREN

    Thanks for the warning. I'll have my kid medium-well with risotto on the side.

    Saturday, June 13, 2009

    Waterboarding, written edition

    You might remember an email from one of my coworkers who wrote to the staff, "Sorry for the incontinence" (see 3/13/09, "Not everyone . . .").

    Well, he's making a return appearance. Yesterday he sent me an email with this: "But [yours truly, Bud, has never been called this before] can you please edit this graphic, [you just asked a question; the comma's so wrong!] I will bring over the hard copy [the end; period goes here dumb-dumb]"

    The illiteracy that surrounds me is the bane of my existence 40 hours a week.

    Friday, June 12, 2009

    What is it about "unavailable" that you don't understand?

    Yesterday our new temp-to-perm proposal coordinator (who, incidentally, has more energy and enthusiasm than most of us can stand) sent out an update on where a few active proposal projects stand. In her email she mentioned that there might be some weekend work and asked us to let her know if we would not be available for any of the next several weekends.

    I responded by telling her that I would not be available for weekend work in the foreseeable future. (Given that I have one foot out the door, I'm not giving them one extra minute of my time or effort.)

    She responded, copying our MoronManager, by asking me to make sure to put that information on the group calendar, which I had already done.

    This morning MM came to me with a hard copy of my email to the proposal coordinator in hand, with "I will not be available for weekend work in the foreseeable future" highlighted in bright orange.

    MM asked me if I could elaborate on my message. "Sure. I'm busy and unavailable." She then asked me to put that on the group calendar. "I already did that." And I thought, "Why don't you look at the f**kin' thing, you dolt!"

    Considering the notion that everything happens for a reason, I think I've come up with why I've had this god-awful job, for a year and a half now. It's so that as I soon ease into semi-retirement—that is, transition out of FT work (read: quit!) into several PT freelance jobs—I can look back at this job and not miss having a FT office job one tiny bit.

    Tuesday, June 9, 2009

    Hi. My name is Bud and I have a problem with illiterates.

    There's a Seinfeld episode revolving around the fact that Jerry's Catholic dentist, Tim, has converted to Judaism. Tim immediately starts telling Jewish jokes. Jerry takes issue with Tim's conversion because he believes Tim converted just for the jokes.

    He shares this with a priest, who asks him, "And you are offended by this as a Jew?" Jerry answers, "No, I'm offended by this as a comedian!"

    Which brings me to real life.

    My illiterate manager sent an email this morning alerting the team that she'd be out today. Me and one other person were omitted from her message, which a coworker passed along to me.

    I sent her an email inquiring about the obvious omissions.

    Here's her response, verbatim:

    "Regardomg tje notice of me being out today. This was not done intentionally, since I was sending it through my blackberry and I did not get the spelling of everyone’s last name, I sent it to those that their email was in my inbox."

    Putting aside the fact that she doesn't have all of our addresses on her BlackBerry, just look at that writing.

    Does this offend me as a member of her staff? Sure. But it really offends me as an editor!

    "As brooks make rivers, rivers run to seas." John Dryden

    As I look toward retirement (later rather than sooner due to the market's hit to my nest egg), I only see retirement in the sense that I'll be collecting Social Security and be on Medicare. I don't plan to or want to stop editing.

    To that end, I've been trying to line up several freelance editing positions. I've got the nonfiction book editing and online article editing jobs in place, and I've applied for a "title proofer" position with the company for whom I edit articles.

    Another one or two freelance income streams and I'll be set. The confluence of these rivulets could turn into the river that finally carries me away from the horror of my soul-smothering FT job.

    Saturday, June 6, 2009

    Busted!

    Earlier today I edited and approved an excellent article (for my online editing job) entitled, "About PMP Certification."

    I just opened up another article to edit: "Project Management Professional Certification Requirements." It was written by the same author as the above article and is virtually identical in content.

    I sent an alert to my team leader and the editorial team. His file will now be reviewed to determine if he has previously self-plagiarized.

    Self-plagiarism is, within the context of the company's structure and processes, easy to get away with. That is, there are hundreds of editors, thousands of writers, and a largely random system of populating each editor's article review queue (ten at a time).

    Evidently the stars are not aligned in this writer's favor today.

    Friday, June 5, 2009

    And after our croissant, we'll smoke a Gitanes.

    Describing the kind of person sought, the following was part of an ad on mediabistro.com for an editor position at a consumer magazine in northern Virginia.

    You:
    ---like working on a close-knit team where you can learn every aspect of magazine publishing
    ---are overflowing with creative ideas
    ---thrive in a fun, fast-paced environment
    ---enjoy baked goods on Wednesday


    Hard working, creative, fun types are a dime a dozen. I'll pass, thank you very much. Give me a Wednesday doughperson anytime.

    I know that when I've done recruiting, I've always hired editors whose refined palate can appreciate the finest Wednesday-only specialties from my local patisserie.

    In addition to that attribute, and perhaps even more important, is that they have the self-discipline to indulge in that guilty pleasure only on Wednesdays.

    Wednesday's child is full of woe joie de vivre.

    Zen

    From one of our desktop publishers:

    "I am going to be tomorrow morning by 9:30am."

    She may be language challenged, but does it really matter if she can be one with time?

    Wednesday, June 3, 2009

    Less is less.

    The following business item in radio news is ubiquitous: "The Dow was down 75 points today."

    C'est tout. Fini. No context. Vacuum.

    This is a completely useless piece of information without it's AWOL partner—where the Dow started or, at the very least, what percentage the move represents.

    The goal of news reporting should not be to leave us wanting more.

    Tuesday, June 2, 2009

    The first cut is the deepest!

    I just did my first "Reject" of a computer-related How To article in my freelance, online editing work.

    I asked the writer a few simple questions and, BAM, she came back with an article twice the original length. In responding, she introduced roughly 12 items that IMHO required elaboration. Too bad, because the original was worth publishing if it incorporated the info I sought.

    So long forest, hello trees.

    Saturday, May 30, 2009

    In a word

    One of my freelance gigs involves editing short articles online. The editing process moves through several screens, from selecting articles to final approval.

    After the initial edit is saved, the next screen is for review. The three options here are to approve/submit, reject with comments, or send queries back to the author and request a rewrite.

    At the bottom of the review page, there's a short bio/blurb written by the author. I suppose some editors might defer more or less to the author depending on what the blurb contains.

    I just did an article where the blurb read, in its entirety, "Dennis writes."

    Brevity is the soul of wit, or laziness, or paranoia, or super-humility, or something.

    Friday, May 29, 2009

    For My Country

    These are the times that try editors' souls.

    Nevertheless, we must soldier on and put the greater need before our own.

    We must sacrifice and do anything and everything in our power to help shape the work of our great writers in order to respond to the citizenry's insatiable need for answers.

    So it is with great humility and overwhelming feelings of privilege and humility that I undertake to edit the writings below (in my freelance editing queue), words that will some day be looked upon as the key to bringing us out of the Darkness and into the Great American Century.

    Even though some of us are on the periphery of the Fourth Estate, we nevertheless can hold our heads high and say that we, too, are part of that bedrock of our Democracy.

  • What Is a Business License?
  • How to Sell a Westgate Resort Timeshare
  • How to Achieve Excellence in Fundraising
  • What Are Health Insurance Plans?
  • About a Medical Career
  • How to Play "Light My Fire" on Piano
  • Cures for Gastroenteritis
  • Advantages & Disadvantages of Polyurethane Foam Insulation
  • How to Cook Catfish Nuggets
  • How to Plan a Pinewood Derby
  • Wednesday, May 27, 2009

    Danger, S-curves ahead

    We had a temp editor in yesterday to help me out with proposal work.

    At one point she asked me if the abbreviation for "headquarters" should be "HQs" because, as she put it, "headquarters" ends with an "s" and is therefore a plural.

    I know, I know, it can be a plural, but in this case it was "Duh Inc.'s headquarters."

    Today I checked to see if the review team's final hard-copy edits were made correctly by our desktop publishers. In the process I had a chance to see all the files that the temp worked on. Oy vay!

    I've worked for the agency that sent this editor our way. At that time I met many of the temp editors they employed. They do virtually no screening and do not administer an editing test. They assemble their pool of editors simply by reviewing resumes.

    It's because of this type of practice (i.e, send anyone who says they're an editor out on assignment) that many writers don't want an editor to go anywhere near their work. I can't believe that agency is still in business.

    Monday, May 25, 2009

    RIP Telecommuting (d.2009)

    I love telecommuting—Tuesday's at home in the comfort and quietude of my apartment. (Note re quietude: I know, the word choice could have been better. I just wanted to use that word for the first time in my life.)

    Our manager performed the coup de grâce on this cherished benefit last week. Her fiat read, in part:

    "Over all, to stop complaints to HR about how some people have more privileges then other (working from home being one of them), I have decided to discontinue the telecommuting." [grammatical errors hers]

    So, in her typical, clueless fashion, rather than lead and manage the Proposal Center staff toward more respect and teamwork and thereby create a more equitable environment, she decided to punish everyone.

    It's also noteworthy, and oh so telling, that she specifically states the reason for her decision is "to stop complaints to HR."

    I miss the '60s and '70s. Back in the day, I had more than one job where staff would have organized to get rid of a manager who did more harm than good.

    What are those guys doing over there, playing games?

    As the editor for the proposal center, my responsibilities include editing all graphic elements of a proposal. These include a variety of tables, charts, and figures. Many of them are very complex multicolored and layered images done by our graphic artists using memory-intensive software applications.

    The graphic artists' repeated requests to have faster computers with increased memory were finally acted upon, and their new PCs were ordered.

    When they arrived, the mailroom staff refused to accept delivery because the wording on the boxes included words to the effect that the PCs were excellent for gaming.

    Despite being apprised of this by our production manager, our manager took no action to deal with the situation. So the graphic artists plod along and do the best they can.

    When this was discussed at a recent staff meeting, the production manager, not our manager, said that when the graphic artists' PCs crash in the face of a critical deadline, he'll tell someone upstairs "I told you so!"

    The proposal center manager sat in silence, as is her wont. Not providing any leadership or management is one thing, but actually getting in the way of staff is a horse of a different color. Such horses should be sent to the glue factory.

    Sunday, May 24, 2009

    Temporal Fixation Syndrome

    If I had a nickel for every time I've encountered since used in the place of because, due to, as a result of, owing to, etc., . . .

    OK, Merriam-Webster lists this usage as the third one under since used as a conjunction. But this is akin to following the letter but not the spirit of the law.

    Tuesday, May 19, 2009

    Written with a forked tongue?

    From craigslist:

    "TMCnet, the leading business-to-business Web site serving the IP communications and related technology market, has an opening for a senior-level editor in their Norwalk, CT office."

    But further down in the ad:

    "We believe in promotion from within . . ."

    So either TMCnet doesn't actually believe it, or outside applicants needn't apply, which begs the question, Why do companies intent on promoting from within even bother to place want ads?

    Sunday, May 17, 2009

    Time IS money.

    This past week I started to do freelance editing for a company that provides a wide range of material for companies with an online presence.

    I copy edit short how-to articles and fact sheets—a few hundred words or so. It takes me about 15 minutes to knock one off. The very simple ones can be done in less than that. I get paid per completed article; the money is sent to my PayPal account .

    This work has altered how I view the use of my time. Should I watch a Seinfeld episode or make a few bucks? Should I get together with friends or make some grocery money?

    In "Romeo Is Bleeding," Gary Oldman plays a corrupt cop who gets paid a lot of money by mobsters to provide them with inside information. He takes his ill-gotten gains and, as he puts it, "feeds the hole"—his "bank" under a sewer grate in his backyard.

    Should I stop blogging now and feed the hole? Tick-tock tick-tock.

    Saturday, May 9, 2009

    Trifecta

    I hit the jackpot yesterday. I did not thank god for this particular Friday, on which all of the following transpired.

    Win: The Telecommuting Policy

    We’re allowed to work from home one day a week. (My day is Tuesday.) However, when we’re under the gun and a proposal deadline is posted on our Big Board, that policy is suspended. The application of the policy is as clear as mud. To wit:

    From one proposal coordinator to staff: “We only have 3 weeks to support this effort. The following weeks will be busy weeks—lots of graphics, DTP, etc. So please do NOT plan on working from home starting next week till due date.” (policy #1)

    From the proposal center manager to me (in response to my question, “If no editing takes place next week or the week after, can I work from home on 5/12 and 5/19?”): “If you cannot see how you can help during this time, then you may work from home.” (policy #2)

    From our second proposal coordinator to staff: “There’s no working at home the week a proposal is due.” (policy #3)

    Place: The Acronym List

    One of my responsibilities is to put together a list of acronyms and key terms, extracted from a Request for Proposal as soon as we receive the RFP. The list is a style guide for the proposal writers.

    I spent a few hours on Friday doing a list for an upcoming proposal effort. I sent it to the proposal manager for his review/approval.

    His response to me: “We will probably not use 50% of the Acronyms on this list in our proposal. . . . Go through our Pink Team folder, through each of the drafts, highlight those we use; we can later delete the rest.” So, first, writing has commenced before anyone asked me to provide an acronym list and, two, the proposal manager (a contractor) has decided that we will abandon our procedure of using the RFP as the basis for the list.

    Show: Memory Like a Sieve

    The proposal center manager asked me to do a “quick edit” (i.e., one hour) of a 45-page white paper for corporate HQ. First, I already edited it, a couple of weeks ago. Second, I have told her repeatedly that, for obvious reasons, no editor can edit 45 pages in one hour!

    Wednesday, May 6, 2009

    Yin and Yang

    My favorite is the em dash. It says, "Stop! Look at me. Take notice. Something important is happening here." To my mind, it's the prima donna of punctuation, in the best sense.

    And then there's em's bastard cousin, the hyphen. Half the size, twice the trouble! It intends to clarify, to help avoid confusion. "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions." I'd like to commit punctuational genocide on the hyphen.

    Friday, May 1, 2009

    My office is flush with illiterati.

    From our production guy: "If your not busy and have nothing to do. I could use your help putting the vista material into the binders. Thanks, R."

    In personnel news, one of our proposal coordinators is switching to a writing position. An email update from the proposal center manager on her search for a replacement reads in part:

    "Just wanted to let everyone know that I have identified [Is she hiring or visiting a morgue?] LR as the new Proposal Coordinator to backfill [Crank up the backhoe. MR's doing some excavation work.] JN."

    Thursday, April 30, 2009

    Pew Editor Fired: “Search and Replace” Gone Terribly Wrong

    WASHINGTON, April 30 (Geuters) — People experienced in the use of the “search and replace” function in word processing software understand that, even though it’s a valuable tool, it’s also a potential minefield.

    Editors in particular understand this. Copy Editor Ruud Ozkapici at Pew Research, however, evidently had a mental lapse in running a search and replace and has been fired for the results.

    The following is part of the result of Ozkapici’s search and replace, in which he inadvertently searched for “religion/religious” and replaced it with “underwear” rather than “religious affiliation.”

    Underwear Changes in the U.S. in Flux

    April 27, 2009, Executive Summary

    Americans change their underwear early and often. In total, about half of American adults have changed underwear at least once during their lives. Most people who change their underwear leave their childhood underwear before age 24, and many of those who change underwear do so more than once. These are among the key findings of a new survey conducted by the Pew Research Center’s Forum on Religion & Public Life. The survey documents the fluidity of underwear in the U.S. and describes in detail the patterns and reasons for change.

    The reasons people give for changing their underwear—or leaving underwear altogether—differ widely depending on the origin and destination of the convert. The group that has grown the most in recent years due to underwear change is the unaffiliated population. Two-thirds of former Catholics who have become unaffiliated and half of former Protestants who have become unaffiliated say they left their childhood underwear because they stopped believing in its teachings, and roughly four-in-ten say they became unaffiliated because they do not believe in God or the teachings of most underwear. Additionally, many people who left underwear to become unaffiliated say they did so in part because they think of underwear people as hypocritical or judgmental, because underwear organizations focus too much on rules or because underwear leaders are too focused on power and money. Far fewer say they became unaffiliated because they believe that modern science proves that underwear is just superstition.


    In his unsuccessful defense (following discovery of his error just prior to publication), Ozkapici said he was preoccupied with “underwear” when he was editing the report. “I had ruined many of my wife’s panties when I did the laundry,” he said, “and I promised to pick up new ones for her that day.”

    Weapons of Mass Destructzzzzzz....... cont'd

    Proofing the final layout of the WMD book continues to be a challenge. The author alternates between the esoterica in the entry below to this kind of obviousness:

    "Sharing views on a regular basis is crucial for different cultures and religions to be able to live together in peace and understanding."

    If I listen hard enough between the lines, I believe the author is playing "I'd Like to Buy the World a Coke."

    Saturday, April 25, 2009

    Weapons of Mass Destructzzzzzz.......

    I just started a final proof of a book on the proliferation of WMD. Here's a sample:


    The publisher should put this one on tape and market it as a sleep aid.

    Friday, April 17, 2009

    The Wall knows and demands, "Feed me!"

    We just learned that one of our proposals won, to the tune of $49 million.

    The proposal center manager sent us the following message:

    It looks like we won are on a roll. [Yep, she omitted "and."] We need to put the cover of this proposal on the wall.

    A continuation of no thank you's, no bonuses, no attempt to get us raises, which have been postponed indefinitely in light of the economy. But, by all means we must add the proposal cover to our "win wall."

    My response to her email, copied to everyone in the center, was:

    I’m sure the wall will be very pleased to receive additional compensation, of a kind. And if it could speak, it would utter a great big "THANK YOU."

    Intro to Mismanagement 101

    Our proposal center manager is the most incompetent manager I’ve ever known. And that is saying something—I’ve been working since 1966!

    We are in the final stages of completing a proposal. The Gold Team (i.e., final) review has been completed, and I checked to see if the desktop publishing specialist had properly made their edits. What I saw in my review is evidence of what could be a case study in how not to put together a proposal.

    Here are some key steps (there are many more) the proposal center manager should have taken to ensure an infinitely better product than the one we are about to submit.

    1. Hold a kickoff meeting with all writers and reviewers to describe in detail the writing and review processes.

    2. Distribute and review the proposal style guide.

    3. Bring about a consensus on which reviewer is the final arbiter on content changes.

    4. Meet with reviewers to capture how each of their changes could impact the material reviewed by others.

    5. Meet with desktop publishing specialists and graphic designers to define style, and to agree on consistency guidelines.

    6. Properly screen the temp editors.

    7. Provide me (the lone staff editor) the opportunity to review our proposal style with the temp editors.

    8. Ensure there is a mechanism in place to track changes that would be the target of global searches/replaces just prior to production.

    The above touch on just a portion of what needs to be done on a writing project that involves multiple writers and reviewers. This is fairly obvious to those who have edited in just such an environment.

    The proposal center manager, however, has chosen not to manage—by any stretch of the imagination—any key area of our operations. Rather, she busies herself by cleaning the whiteboards in our conference rooms, hassling her direct reports, and holding worthless weekly staff meetings during which she utters platitudes such as, “We’re all a team here,” “We’re all adults here,” “Remember to do your timesheet daily,” and “Do you want to have a pot luck lunch?”

    She is universally regarded as a joke. Yet she survives. None of us can figure out how.

    Tuesday, April 14, 2009

    Non mea culpa

    Big proposal due this week. Too big for me to handle alone.

    We brought in two temp editors yesterday.

    I did a final review of the proposal to ready it for the Gold Team review—the Suits’ last chance for input prior to production.

    Part of my review included eyeballing the sections done by the temps.
    Oh.My.God. Typos (spell check not run; unforgivable); the company name spelled wrong (cardinal sin of the first order); and more.

    I ran down the litany for the proposal coordinator—the best defense . . .

    But the temps are long gone. And the Suits know where I live.

    Thursday, April 9, 2009

    Persona non grata V: Sisyphus reporting in

    For the current proposal, I developed (based on the Request for Proposal) an extensive list of acronyms and key terms. The list represents the style to be used by the writers.

    Among the acronyms are a number that don't need to be spelled out even on first occurrence; they're that well known to the proposal reviewers.

    I started editing the proposal today, completing the executive summary and one section of the technical proposal. It took about six hours, at least half of which were devoted to cleaning up the acronym mess—that is, spelling items out the first time they appear. (I bet you're getting tired of reading that. Me too.)

    As I was wrapping up my work, I mentioned to the proposal coordinator that the writers had not, despite my list, spelled out many items at all. She told me that the proposal manager had given his writers a list of about twenty acronyms that could stand on their own.

    I had to go back through the documents to undo much of my work; for about another hour.

    Neither the proposal manager (a contractor) nor the proposal coordinator (a coworker) gave a thought to yours truly—who is responsible for ensuring consistency)—and the fact that his style decisions and list would have an impact on the editing process.

    The rock gets heavier and the hill steeper—exponentially every single day.

    Tuesday, April 7, 2009

    Editors say their efforts are for naught, study finds

    Editing tops the list of professions whose members feel their work makes no difference whatsoever, according to a study just released by the Pew Research Center.

    The annual study, headed up by Pew Workplace Analysis Director Enoko Elenkov, surveyed the nearly 3,000 jobs on the Bureau of Labor Statistics Standard Occupational Classification list. The study’s findings are based on more than two million responses.

    “We were quite surprised to see editing join the list of usual suspects, let alone come in at #1,” said Elenkov, “given that prior to this year, editing had never even broken the top 50.” Pew has conducted the survey annually since 1965.

    Rounding out the top ten (in descending order) are telemarketers, quarry rock splitters, conveyor belt operators, tire builders, ticket takers, cashiers, meter readers, polishing machine setters, and data entry keyers.

    “According to their responses,” Elenkov continued, “editors believe that what they perceive as the precipitous decline in the value of their work has been driven by two related developments: the ascendancy of the Internet as the primary source of information, and the subsequent decline of traditional [hard copy] reading.”

    Elenkov said the vast majority of editors who responded to the survey questionnaire work in the print medium. The following typify their comments:

    “The dominance of the Web has shortened attention spans with the concomitant inability of readers to spot errors. So what’s the point of what I do?”

    “Who but an editor gives a damn about a missing serial comma or dangling participle, especially on a website?”

    “Not one of my friends has read a book in the past year.”

    “If you want to see the future of the written word, look at Twitter. Come to think of it, the future has arrived—in 140 characters max!”

    Sunday, April 5, 2009

    Editing as Blood Sport

    This past week was a bitch: more than the usual amount of BS and dysfunction at work, and the deadline for my freelance edit of a horrendous manuscript. I made it through—barely.

    Friday night, still reeling from the war on two fronts, my blood pressure was 137/78—well above average for me. Last night, my reading was 89/53.

    Sometimes, numbers don't lie.

    Ask an Editor

    I recently had an opportunity to sit down with Anabela Cerezo, shortly after she ended her ten-year stint as chief copy editor for the London edition of the Wall Street Journal.

    While I knew that Anabela could offer many enlightening comments on her career and the state of the editing profession, I wanted to get her perspective on the Obama presidency from the across the pond. The following are highlights.

    Me: First, let me thank you, Anabela, for speaking with me today. I know you’re busy planning your retirement.

    AC: Bud, any time spent not editing is a pleasure.

    Me: Amen to that, Anabela. OK, so let’s take a look at some of the many issues on the president’s overflowing plate. First up, priorities. Should Obama focus on the environment or intelligence gathering?

    AC: Place i before e except after c.

    Me: How about the ongoing search for Bin Laden?

    AC: A singular subject takes a singular verb, while a plural subject takes a plural verb.

    Me: In terms of the financial crisis, who is more to blame, New York or Washington?

    AC: To find the subject and verb, always find the verb first. Then ask who or what performed the verb.

    Me: How do you see the prospects for improved relations between the U.S., Russia, and China?

    AC: Between refers to two. Among is used for three or more.

    Me: As they say, a trillion here, a trillion there, and we’re talking real money. What can Obama do to convey the scope of the economic problem?

    AC: The simplest way to express large numbers is best. Round numbers are usually spelled out.

    Me: There are many so-called experts chiming in with their recommended solutions to a host of problems. How are they doing in presenting their cases?

    AC: Omit unnecessary words, and avoid a succession of loose sentences.

    Me: And finally, some believe that Congress has too readily accommodated the president’s agenda. Is this claim legitimate?

    AC: Use the active voice unless you specifically need to use the passive voice.

    Me: Anabela, I want to thank you for taking time to speak with me this morning, and I appreciate, as always, your considered opinions. Best of luck to you.

    AC: Bud, you’re more than welcome. And remember, always run spell-check.

    Thursday, April 2, 2009

    Persona non grata IV

    The players: G is one of our two proposal coordinators. S is a contract proposal manager, called in on a regular basis. He and I have had several conversations. S knows I’m the sole editor in the proposal center.

    The following is an unedited email:

    Hi G, Could you have a quick edit done on this paragraph (e.g. use of semi colons on last line, etc.. I need this today by say 2 PM. I need to have authors repllicate all but the yellow highlited portion in a number of sections, therefore, I want to get it right the first time! Thanks, S

    As you might have noticed, S doesn’t mention me specifically. (Please note: rhetorical question coming.) Is there someone else to do “a quick edit”? G passed his request on to me, and I quickly edited S’s graph.

    S was in the office today. Post-edit I passed him twice. Nary a word of greeting or thanks.

    I wish I truly were invisible. I could save a lot of money at Starbucks, for example.

    Saturday, March 28, 2009

    Don’t go to sleep edit angry.

    Editors, when they’re working, can be a very angry bunch. With apologies to Alexander Pope, if we had a motto it could be, “To err is human, to forgive is out of the question.”

    Whether it’s ignoring style manuals and publishing guidelines, and demonstrating that they’ve forgotten or are rejecting what they learned in English and writing classes, many authors really get our knickers in a twist.

    The book I’m currently editing is filled with so much crap (nonsensical writing, seriously incomplete references, free-for-all capitalization and punctuation, end note numbers in text not matching end notes, etc.), I’ve been pissed off almost the entire time I’ve been at this edit—more than a month now, part time.

    And, my, how my anger has affected my work. As I close in on the Wednesday deadline (appropriately falling on April Fools’ Day), I find more and more things I’ve missed, from the introduction straight through to the conclusion.

    As far as I can recall, when I started my editing career back in the eighties I didn’t experience this anger phenomenon. It began perhaps a couple of years ago.

    My inner, angry editor is actually uncharacteristic—I’ve grown more tolerant, of everything, as I’ve matured. To what, then, do I attribute this powerful reaction to author errors that earlier didn’t even cause a ripple? One word: BURNOUT.

    Wednesday, March 25, 2009

    Mas o menos?

    This is a continuation of "Editors should be seen . . .," 3/9, below.

    The context here is the requirement that each employee develop, in conjunction with her manager, business-related and personal development goals for the year. The manager has the option to add goals for the employee.

    E-mail to my manager:

    The following goal (your addition) contradicts our discussions regarding my author queries.

    You added: “The number of proposals that should have identified more items for author review/approval than what was provided during the proposal process, also based on third party post reviews of submitted proposals.”

    You have told me that there has been feedback (undocumented) from individuals (not named by you) that I write too many author queries. Again, and as I’ve tried to explain to you, I believe that my level of queries is appropriate.

    It seems to me that defining a goal related to author queries can’t be done unless we agree on this critical editing function.

    My manager has not yet responded.

    4/7 Update: Still no response.

    Sunday, March 22, 2009

    Our Dirty Little Secret

    Artists sign their paintings, many animals mark their territories, and people leave their marks in a variety of ways. So, too, do editors.

    While we mostly work “anonymously”—that is, our name rarely appears on the work we edit—many editors leave behind a signature of sorts, to be shared with their brothers and sisters in arms in a sort of one-upmanship contest of creativity and stealth.

    Here, from some of my partners in crime, are my ten favorites, along with a brief summary of the emotional basis of their mark.

    P.I.: I insert an extra space between sentences in the middle of page 50. Breathing room.

    O.O.: On page 69, I omit a serial comma as close to the middle of the page as possible. Page 96 is my backup page. Screw Harvard; I’m a Yalie.

    L.A.: I use my current age to select the page on which I’ll replace an en dash with an em dash. I’ll subtract one page at a time, if necessary, to find a page on which to do this. I love M&Ms.

    E.H.: I’ll insert an extra period in the tenth ellipsis. Who’s counting anyway.

    Y.O.: If the work contains the names of congressional representatives, the district number of the ninth name is increased by one. They’re all tools anyway.

    M.M.: The final occurrence of the possessive form of a name ending in s doesn’t get the final s after the apostrophe. What’s good enough for Jesus.

    L.U.: In a scientific or technical work, I’ll change the treatment of data (singular vs. plural) at its last appearance in the final chapter. You say tomato, I say tomatoes.

    J.Z.: The seventeenth quotation mark gets placed inside the closing punctuation. So sue me!

    C.K.: In the bibliography, the first publisher with an ampersand in its name gets an “and” in its place. Ridiculous looking symbol.

    B.R.: The third appearance of “III,” as in John Jones III, loses a generation, if you get my drift. Pompous asses!

    Saturday, March 21, 2009

    This kind of thing could end up in my dreamscape.

    My author of the moment is a Vietnam vet and first-time author. I'm editing his 400+ page, heavily referenced book on Vietnam.

    The structure of references (the sequence of their elements) isn't complicated; even most high school students have this knowledge. And after I read his bio (he has an advanced degree from an Ivy League school), I figured the end notes would be OK. We don't always get what we want, do we.

    Here's an example: "I owe the reference to Dean’s compelling Shook Over Hell, 41."

    Conspicuous by their absence: author's first name, complete book title, city and name of publisher, publication year.

    And the right way: "I owe the reference to Eric T. Dean Jr.’s compelling Shook Over Hell: Post-Traumatic Stress, Vietnam, and the Civil War (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1997), 41."

    While the writing itself isn't half bad, the end notes are my current cross to bear.

    As the great philosopher Roseanne Roseannadanna would say, "Well, Jane, it just goes to show you, it's always something."

    Friday, March 20, 2009

    Persona non grata III

    Here's further proof that editing is, indeed, a thankless profession.

    This is an excerpt from an internal, congratulatory, business-is-booming newsletter:

    "Among key deals year-to-date, the XX Services Group has won:

    "A $119 million extension with XX. We deliver a wide range of infrastructure support to XX's Information Technology Services office in the U.S. and internationally. We have been the incumbent contractor since 2003. Our thanks go to . . . GA, AC, EG, RR, and LM [for their work on the proposal]."

    The combined effort of these five co-workers didn't approach mine. But again, I'm the invisible man, chopped liver as it were.

    Tuesday, March 17, 2009

    Phone home!

    Tuesday is my FT job’s work-at-home day.

    My manager told me yesterday that I’d have a “messy, cut and pasted” 10-page document to edit this morning.

    I sent her two emails last night—one via Outlook, the other by gmail—requesting that she call me when the document was ready. This, so I don’t have to plant myself in front of the computer—waiting, waiting.

    Not having received a phone call, I checked my email at 10:15. She had sent a message with the document attached at 9:30. I responded (at 10:15), “OK. Here goes.”

    She called me at 11, telling me that I hadn’t attached the edited document to my 10:15 message, and inquired where it was.

    The document turned out to be a particularly messy 15 pages, as expected, and yet she expected that I had it finished in 45 minutes.

    Remember Cool Hand Luke? “What we have here is a failure to communicate.”

    Saturday, March 14, 2009

    Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail shall keep me from my editing.

    At the risk of putting too fine a point on it, I’ll just say that the author of the manuscript I’m currently working on appears to be a northern Norwegian blown my way on the wings of a Nor’easter.

    He neither has an understanding of the correct use of nor, nor hesitates to throw in nors willy-nilly.

    Apparently either his English teachers got it wrong or he missed the class on the use of nor. Somehow he arrived at the understanding that in choosing between or, or nor, the culprit in question here is always selected if it’s preceded by any negative construction.

    Here are a couple of examples: (1) He also had no memory of Palmer nor of Andrews. (2) There is no river nor railroad trestle in the story.

    I wouldn't be surprised if the author's kids are named "Nora" and "Norman."

    I don't do windows weekends.

    Proposal submission deadlines are written in stone. If a proposal doesn't arrive at the funding agency on time, it isn't even read.

    As a proposal moves through the development and production process, it's quite common for interim milestone deadlines to be blown. That results in a compression of the remaining steps and their completion dates. If there is significant slippage in adherence to the original schedule, editing—which essentially is the final step prior to production—must be done quickly and at the eleventh hour.

    Such is the case, again, in my office. Our staff has bitched, among ourselves, about the fact that on many proposal efforts no one that we support has any respect for our processes. Our manager appears to be powerless to resolve this ongoing problem.

    So what is one to do in the face of ineffective management? Exercise the power that is available to each of us as individuals.

    I sent this email to the appropriate proposal manager yesterday:

    From your Proposal Description, it looks like editing will take place over the April 4-5 weekend.

    I’m going out of town that weekend (Friday night through Sunday night). So you might need to line up a temp editor.

    Friday, March 13, 2009

    Disjointedness: An Email Exchange

    Bud – Trying to refresh my memory from what was discussed during our Team Development session at the Marriot, weren’t you supposed to update the style guide? Reason I ask is because we have new writers for the EDF proposal and they have asked me today to provide them a copy for reference. Just let me know where it is saved and I will take care of printing it. Thanks.
    ------------------------
    Gloria [one of the two proposal coordinators in the Proposal Center],

    I finished my work on it several weeks ago and turned it over to Ellen at that time so she could review the DTP section.

    Also, I made some changes to the acronym section; I'll finalize the acronym section when Sue reviews the list I made of acronyms that never need to be spelled out. You might remember that was one of my action items coming out of our team building session with Bryn. I did that list immediately after that session, but as of a couple of weeks ago Sue had not yet looked at it.